Growing beyond your Pool

14 October 2009

I’m thinking back to a movie I’ve seen a couple of times called Big Fish. In this movie, the protagonist is a character that finds himself looking for more in life and embarks on a journey to discover the world around him. One quote which I’m thinking of in particular goes like this: “Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you're not too big? That maybe this place is just too small?”, Edward Bloom, the main character asks this question of Karl, a giant.

At the times when we become seekers and begin on our own journeys, we start to expand our experiences in life and consequently our minds expand. Even a simple holiday to an unknown culture will inevitably expand your mind through the experiences you will gain from being in that foreign land.

One of the most difficult things about moving forward in life is that more often than not, there are people holding you back. In fact, it is often the case that there are many more people holding you back, than there are those pulling you forward. I’ve heard this from many people, and I’ve personally experienced this as well.

Imagine if you will a tug of war and on one side are all the people you know and on the other side are all the people who can help you to get to where you want to go. In the middle you are tied in, and the pulling begins.

The reason why so many people fail to move forward, is that are getting pulled back. What is worse, is that very often, the people pulling you back are the ones closest to you, your friends and family.
Ask yourself the question, how many people do you know who can help you to move forward?

These may be teachers, mentors, role models or friends who have become successful themselves. I would hazard a guess that you probably know more people in the friends and family category, and perhaps only one or two who can help you move forward. So thinking about it this way, it’s hardly surprising that it seems to difficult to move on in life.

It does take a lot of effort, I know because I’ve been there and I’ve managed to pull free. It’s also very hard too, because you might have to distance yourself from those whom you love. However, if you are serious about life improvement, then this has to be considered.

Do your current social circle of friends and family who give you “advice” on how to succeed, actually have success themselves? If not, what actually qualifies them to give you advice? Ask yourself this, these are the people who are trying to give advice, however all their advice are merely hooks to retain and pull you back. After all, if this was good advice, they would be successful themselves already.

So the point is, go find someone who has been successful and take advice from them. It truly isn’t the fault of people that they try to pull you back. I’m sure like me, you have the best possible intentions for all your friends and family, however having the best intentions, doesn’t mean you have the best advice. The are merely trying to do the best they can, with the resources they have available.

Why can’t you just be satisfied with what you’ve got?

I’ve heard that too. The truth is, if everyone thought like that, the human species would never evolve. People are different, we need to be in order to survive. So for all you friends and family out there who might be holding someone back because you think you know better, drop it and be adult. Instead of your advice, just offer your love and support, and you will find that your relationships will continue to flourish, without the fear of “losing” them.